Joyce was visibly excited, “Let’s go out!” She pointed at two events in the Key West entertainment section, both scheduled for Saturday night: a fundraising costume party that she started promoting heavily and Fabuloso! Fabuloso! a burlesque show at The Tennessee Williams Theater. Instantly weighing the options, I started lobbying hard for the bump and grind.
Seeing my enthusiasm for burlesque, Joyce tried to turn the tide. She led us to her huge theater costume collection, which I read as an attempt to win Betsy over. With great drama, Joyce began pulling out beautiful turn-of-the-century gowns one after another. It seemed the tide was turning. Then Joyce made a fatal error. She pulled out a Viking helmet complete with horns and nose guard and offered me a fur trimmed, vest-like warrior top and said, “Mark, this is perfect — all the women will want you. Try it on! Come on, try it on!” Cornered, I grudgingly put on the helmet, and Joyce exclaimed, “Oh my god, I’m sure you’ll win best costume award, won’t he, Betsy!” I could only image how she would complete me from the waist down. I suspect even Betsy harbored some sympathy, envisioning my suffering in a Viking costume all night.
They continued to hold up the beautiful dresses and shawls, with Joyce remarking how stunning Betsy would look, and I kept imagining half-naked women strutting across the stage. Luckily, they read my mind and Joyce finally conceded.
How could anyone be in Key West and not want to go to a burlesque show? The billing read: “Saturday, February 11th is the weekend’s spotlight event, hosted by Key West’s most dashing dick, Frankie! Starring Nasty Canasta, Gigi La Femme, Peekaboo Pointe, Harvest Moon, GoGo Harder, Marquee Vonfister, Rocky Bottom, Moana Amour, Francisco, Hunny Bunz, and DarknStormy!” I was sold at Nasty.
We knew the director of Key West Burlesque, Tatah Dujour. We were introduced because she lived in the upstairs apartment of Joyce’s house. Tatah was also known as the Conch Republic’s Queen of Burlesque. She was blond, built and sexy. At one point Joyce confided to me that Tatah could spin her tatahs in opposite directions at the same time. Not sure why she put that image in my head but it stuck. Tatah’s Web site promo revealed: “Tatah is a two-time competitor at the Miss Exotic World pageant. In 2008 she was in the Best Debut Category, and in 2009 she competed with the best in the world for the Reigning Queen of Burlesque title.” Enough said.
Saturday night was a sell-out at the Tennessee Williams Theatre on the campus of the Florida Keys Community College. The lobby was packed with people, mostly younger: gays, straights, transvestites, and the cream of the hip, all stylishly dressed for the premier event. We made our way to the bar and ordered drinks, casually eyeing the colorful collection of mingling people. Anywhere else a six-foot transvestite in a shimmering evening gown, with perfect make-up and coiffed hair, might stand out in a crowd. Not here.
The theater was buzzing as we found our seats. Lights went up and Tuxedo-clad master of ceremonies, Frankie, took center stage to audience hoots and hollers. For the next two hours, Frankie sipped martinis while smoothly introducing the performers, with thinly veiled sexual innuendos about their personal habits and sexual persuasions. The performers sang, danced, bumped, flashed, and strutted in their campy comedic style, and the audience ate it up. The crowd enthusiastically clapped, sang along, and encouraged the performers to give it their all.
And to think I almost spent the evening in a Viking helmet.